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Strange things happened that year. The sequence of those uncanny events is still fresh in my memory as if they happened just yesterday. I was thirteen and deeply grieving Mallika’s untimely demise. I was a sensitive child, extremely attached to even the inanimate objects that I owned, such as pebbles and pieces of broken bangles. Ever since Mallika had come to our home, she was the first living being I would see in the morning and also the last one I spoke to before going to bed. You cannot imagine my grief when I found her beautiful red and black body motionless inside the shoe box. At first, I was in denial and then was angry at the world at large. The setback was so severe that I fell ...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Mystery
  December 11, 2012, 12:05 pm
"Hey there, pretty mama!" ~ Johnny Bravo (Unrelated Picture) Viru came, Viru did not even see, and Viru conquered. Viru is like that only. He arrived without any prior information. We had to cancel our modest Thanksgiving-week plans, which included a two-day stay over by our family friends. Once Viru is in the house, he keeps you so occupied that you cannot entertain anyone else. I just couldn't do anything to resist Viru. Within a few hours, he completely overtook all my senses. “Such love could kill people,” I told Viru, while popping pills. In my dreamy, hazy state, Bollywood songs came to my rescue. “Stop clinging to my skirt, what will the people say,” I crooned. “People...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Personal Fiction
  November 24, 2012, 4:36 am
President Barack Obama embracing his wife Michelle ObamaSocial media's most shared picture Friends, I am in mourning. The defeat of Mitt Romney of the Grand Old Party, whose followers are somewhat similar to the dharm-ke-thhekedar or the upholders of the religious traditions in our own country, has left me heartbroken. Despite my earlier promise, I have decided not to relocate. You have every right to call me a flip-flopper, because even in 2008, I had declared that I would move out of this damned country to Canada or India if Barack Hussein Obama won the race—I did not come to this country to be ruled by a black person—but eventually stayed here to provide moral support to the losers....
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  November 10, 2012, 2:47 am
Please forgive me for being away from the blogosphere. I do know how desperately you wait for my blog updates. While in the past, the delay used to be due to lack of ideas, health problems, or family responsibilities, this time the blame is entirely on the ongoing festive season. Actually, I was not so religious while growing up. In fact, my neighborhood aunties who, at the slightest hint from their religious calendars would deck themselves up along with their puja thalis to visit a temple, which was unfortunately located behind my home, would change their route if they saw me playing outside. I was definitely not the devil they made me out to be; rather I was an innocent child just curious...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Religion
  November 1, 2012, 11:32 am
Indian Cabinet Minister and Congress leader Salman Khurshid says, "I was made the Law Minister and asked to work with a pen…sure I will work with a pen, but with blood as well." What we the mango people can infer from this statement is that either the animated, courageous, mettlesome Law Minister wants to become a butcher or a surgeon, or wants to remain at his post, but dispense justice in a bloody way. If it is the latter case, we can imagine a few scenarios:Case 1: Supplicant #1: Your Lordship, this is my neighbor, Murgichor. He has stolen my hen. Salman Khurshid: Bring the stolen hen here. I will cut it myself as I want to work with blood. And then the thief will clean it as a punishm...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Politics
  October 18, 2012, 2:09 am
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (2 October 1869 - 30 January 1948) It was October 2nd and I wanted to write something about Mahatma Gandhi, when out of the blue, I was required to tend to three monsters. My sister asked me to pick up her three kids from the bus stop on their return from school as she had a dinner meeting with her clients. Just because I do not go out to work doesn't mean that I am available for babysitting every other day. I have plenty of unfinished tasks at home—a long list of to-read novels, half-read articles, half-finished blogs etc. etc. Even so I decided to make the most of this setback. I thought, if I could make these devils write something about Gandhiji, I wou...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  October 5, 2012, 4:52 am
You must have noticed that despite praying very hard with complete faith and devotion, most of the time, God does not fulfill all your wishes. I started this blog in September, 2009 with this prayer, “Oh God, please get my blog more hits than the most popular ones!” Three years down the lane, I am wiser and, I think I understand the reasons for God’s reluctance. Let me share my newly acquired wisdom with you. We usually pray for health, wealth, and happiness for our families and close friends. Just imagine what would happen if God started listening to everyone’s prayers.1. A common prayer to God is to obliterate pain and sufferings from this world. What most people don’t understan...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  September 27, 2012, 1:19 am
Protesters in Pakistan burning US flag (via CNN ) My sympathies lie with the holy warriors, who spend their lives, killing people, burning embassies, hospitals, schools and other such stuff. Sigh! Sometimes, I feel very sad that despite their deadly efforts the Superpower has not yet complied with their wishes. I feel like a poor mother watching her starving children kill each other for scraps of old broken toys from a garbage dump. These fighters are the epitome of sacrifice. They give up the simple pleasures of ordinary peaceful lives, which all of us take for granted. How sad it is to watch them waste away their lives. A life is a brief period that each one of us is given, only once, to e...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :International
  September 18, 2012, 10:17 am
The UPites and the Biharis have long been testing Uncle Thackeray, Sonny Thackeray, and Nephew Thackeray's impatience. Human migration, whether it's legal or illegal, voluntary or involuntary, keeps taking place all over the world. I can’t understand why these people (traitors!) leave their homeland to go and live uninvited in other cities or countries and spoil the latter's peace and harmony. Immigrants take their rotten traditions, strange food habits, and nonsensical religious rituals with them, and then sit like ugly patches on the host city, state, or country’s fine tapestry, all the while, consuming, devouring, and despoiling the resources meant for the natives, thus ...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  September 10, 2012, 6:11 am
Woohoo! Friends, Manu Joseph, the acclaimed journalist and author, has devoted two big paragraphs to me in an article in OPEN magazine. It has made me so happy that I have been braying like an excited donkey for the past few days. And I am dying to share all that he has written with you. My first reaction after reading the article was, “WTF? Why this felicitation?” It is his magnanimity that he has so condescendingly extolled my virtues in an article, which is otherwise an obituary to Anna Hazare’s movement—long live the movement—which I had nothing to do with. Even then, I simply couldn’t contain my joy. It felt as if I had been stuck in an unfriendly island among intimidating...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  August 23, 2012, 8:24 pm
It looks like the US President Barack Obama’s supporters have been waging a secret war against Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. You might remember the Time Magazine had put Manmohan Singh’s picture on the cover of its Asian edition and termed him an “underachiever,” at that time the Outlook came out in support of our beloved prime minister and had retaliated by featuring Barack Obama, the real underachiever on its cover. Now the Onion has come up with a picture, which shows Obama cooking breakfast in one of Michelle's extra long T-shirts. Obviously, they want to show how hardworking their president is. Not only can he run a nation and wage war on several fronts, but fix breakfast for...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Pictorial
  August 13, 2012, 11:00 pm
Yunan-o-Misr-o-Roma sab mit gaye jahan seAb tak magar hai baki naam-o-nishan hamaraKuchh baat hai ki hasti mitati nahin hamariSadiyon raha hai dushman daur-e-zaman hamara. Translation: The civilizations of Greece, Egypt, Rome have been extinct, Whereas our identity remains still unblemished,                                      It’s our charisma that we continue to flourish,                                     Despite the onslaught of invaders for centuries. - From Sare Jahan Se Achchha by Allama Iqbal The above lines entered my mind when I first heard about the power outage in India on July 30 and 31. It was simply a war on electricity by more than 60...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  August 8, 2012, 4:57 am
At the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, India won 3 medals out of the total 958 gold, bronze, and silver medals, and it was considered the most successful Olympics ever for us, while the United States swindled 110, and China purloined 100 medals. Have you ever wondered despite being one of the best countries in the world, in every aspect, why we have been relegated to such a dismal position? Well, I have known the reason for a very long time. There has been a deep-rooted, long-stemmed, and wide-branched conspiracy against our beloved country. Everyone seems to be morbidly jealous of our glorious nation. Just as the foreign media, and their pimps, the Indian writers, keep showing India in pa...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  July 25, 2012, 8:12 am
A few years ago, I found a pakora recipe amid a stack of ancestral documents at my parents' place. It is said to be dictated by my great grandmother, who at that time was probably in her thirties, living with her in-laws in a joint family. According to the folklore, a firang had visited their home and the great grandmother had made some tea and pakoras for the guest. He liked the spicy, crispy fritters so much that he asked for its recipe to carry back home to England. The mother of twelve didn’t know how to read or write, but her children, especially sons, were quite proficient in Hindi and Sanskrit. The tenth child in particular was a prodigy. He was merely six years old, but wa...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Personal Fiction
  July 18, 2012, 7:53 am
For the past few days, we have been bombarded with the news that the Higgs boson has been found. The following video was made a day before the big announcement was made at CERN: Even after all the hullabaloo, in reality, no one has yet been able to see the God particle in person. He is still elusive, though seekers have found signs of his existence. We are still not sure if the Higgs boson works alone like the God from Abrahamic religions, or there is a team like Hindu Deities. Here at the Grist Mill, He is our supreme deity. If you haven’t noticed yet, the header of this blog is a faded image of a tunnel at the biggest temple of Lord Higgs boson. I have been a humble follower for many ...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Science
  July 11, 2012, 2:27 am
We just completed the first six months of 2012. If you have been sleeping like Kumbhakaran until now, it's time to wake up. Wake ho jaiye! Auntiji, Uncleji, get up and dance!A still from movie Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu 1. Pyar Ki Pungi from Agent Vinod, featuring Saif Ali Khan:2. Chinta Ta Ta Chita Ta from Rowdy Rathore, featuring Akshay Kumar and sonakshi Sinha 3. Rum And Whiskey from Vicky Donor, featuring John Abraham, Ayushmann Khurrana, Yami Gautam, and Annu Kapoor4. Dil Mera Muft Ka from Agent Vinod, featuring Kareena Kapoor, Maryam Zakaria, and Saif Ali Khan:5. Papa To Band Bajayen from Housefull 2, featuring Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Shreyas Talpade, Riteish Deshmukh, Mithun Chakraborty...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  July 2, 2012, 5:02 am
A few months ago, something terrible happened. It was bound to happen. Looking back, I can tell that it occurred only because of my complacency. I was sitting on my bed in the safety of my home with a laptop, reading other blogs and anointing them with my expert comments, when I realized that my overgrown nails were causing some impediment while typing. People think that mishaps occur only when they venture out of their homes. This is not true. To get in the way of harm, you don’t have to go to Iraq, Afghanistan, or Syria, or play in traffic, or swim in shark-infested water. Calamity could strike you even inside your home. In fact, toilet injuries are far more common than shark attacks....
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Personal Fiction
  June 25, 2012, 9:48 pm
It is all the good that you are a hardworking person endowed with qualities and virtues, which are considered admirable in a human being, rather it is fantastic, marvelous, superb, but please, it does not mean that you can abuse those who are not like you. Many narrow-minded, prejudiced bigots discriminate others on the basis of religion, race, caste, nationality, skin color, physical appearance, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities, etc. I have nothing against such people. Poor souls, they themselves must have been victims of one or other type of discrimination, hence could be suffering from inferiority complex. They have every reason to vent their frustrations. What I find most offen...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  June 11, 2012, 9:15 am
Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Mark dude, just saw a picture from your wedding in a newspaper. I am so happy for you, brother, but why this Chinese girl di? Have you guys run out of white girls? We are facing almost same problem here in Haryana. Girls have become scarce. My parents are not able to find a decent girl for me. You are one lucky guy to get married, so I thought I should impart some tips for a happy married life along with my congratulations. My first advice is, don't let her use Facebook. Dude, just today I read this horrible news about a married woman, who started an affair while chatting on Facebook and then made her lover kill her husband. If you want to save your life and self...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  May 26, 2012, 11:00 pm
Do you find yourself tongue-tied while talking to new people at social gatherings? Does nobody take you seriously? Has this problem turned your grape-like self-esteem into a raisin? If your answer is yes, you need to immerse yourself in this post and let osmosis take place so that you appear to be brimming with charm, knowledge, and worthiness in full glory. A few years ago, I used to be a squeaky mouse surrounded by croaking frogs, crowing crows, and baying donkeys at social gatherings. Thanks to my astute observation skills and perseverance, I have learned some tricks and have successfully metamorphosed into a talking rat. I learned everything the hard way, but now I want to share my know...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Tips and Advice
  May 18, 2012, 7:30 pm
Do you find yourself tongue-tied while talking to strangers at social gatherings? Does nobody take you seriously? Has this problem turned your grape-like self-esteem into a raisin? If your answer is yes, you need to immerse yourself in this post and let osmosis take place so that you appear to be brimming with charm, knowledge, and worthiness in full glory. A few years ago, I used to be a squeaky mouse surrounded by croaking frogs, crowing crows, and braying donkeys at social gatherings. Thanks to my astute observation skills and perseverance, I have learned some tricks and have successfully metamorphosed into a talking rat. I learned everything the hard way, but now I want to share my know...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Tips and Advice
  May 18, 2012, 7:30 pm
Illustration by Satish Acharya  About one month after Carl Sagan was born in Brooklyn, New York, and Charles Manson was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, a baby girl was born in Nadgaon, Bombay Presidency in British India, who was destined to befuddle historians. Following a widely prevalent Indian tradition, she was neither a rationalist like Sagan, nor did she achieve the heights of insanity like Manson. The girl had black hair, big almond eyes, and cheeks like ripe guava. When she was born, someone might have definitely proclaimed that Goddess Lakshmi had arrived. We should find that person, and if he or she is still alive, make him or her our national soothsayer, for the girl did bring immea...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Politics
  May 9, 2012, 12:02 am
Sachin Tendulkar's new hairstyle is the latest sensation. Listen in his own words why he opted for this new look: (Watch the complete video here: Sachin Tendulkar Fecilitated)Nonetheless, he is happy... (Video: Sachin speaking after his nomination to Rajya Sabha)And he looks charming as ever! (Video: Sachin inaugurates cricket museum in Pune) For those who don't remember, this is Sachin's old hairstyle:(From My Picture Gallery: ICC Cricket World Cup 2011) Related: Faking News: Tendulkar lookalike asks BCCI to give him a wig to match Sachin’s new hairstyleThe Grist Mill: Bring Your Own Grain...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Cricket
  May 3, 2012, 9:16 am
Once upon a time, I was in awe of all the bloggers out there.Inspired by them, I also started a blog.Now I work hard to publish one article every week.Sometimes I use gimmicks for attention.Most of the time, I am stuck and can't think what to write about.But when I concentrate, I am able to complete a post.I feel extreme joy after publishing it, especially when I read your nice comments!This is when I receive a nasty comment:I do check out what other bloggers write and also their blog ranks and stats.This is how I feel when you like my post on Facebook!These are a few of those bloggers who are jealous of my blog:My husband keeps a keen eye on my activities, but contrary to popular conventio...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :
  April 23, 2012, 11:54 pm
We at the Grist Mill sincerely request West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee to sentence all the cartoonists to rigorous imprisonment for life. Madam, if you don’t take a stringent action right now, the impertinent citizens will continue making fun of distinguished luminaries like us. Trinamool Congress has done a splendid job in thrashing Jadhavpur University professor Ambikesh Mahapatra and getting him arrested under several sections of the Indian Penal Code and the Information Technology Act. The Evil Professor (via HT)He is fittingly charged with (1) outraging the modesty of a woman, punishable with one year’s imprisonment, (2) defamation, which carries two-year imprisonment, an...
The Grist Mill...
Tag :Politics
  April 16, 2012, 9:28 am

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